GSLD

I would like to talk to you today about GSLD-otherwise known as Grad Student Loquaciousness Disorder. GSLD is a pervasive, chronic, and contagious disease. It often starts around late September and late January as first assignments come due in many courses. Often, only one student will get it, but after seeing the five pages written for a three page assignment, other students catch it. Writing five pages when only three are required is a minor case, but often symptoms grow exponentially as the semester progresses. There are no known causes for GSLD, but many experts believe it may come from one-upmanship, insecurity, and unclear perimeters from professors. The Union of American Professors has denied any involvement in the contagion, but many grad students beg to differ. What we do know is this; GSLD exists, GSLD is growing, GSLD is contagious, and GSLD can cause severe carpal-tunnel syndrome if left untreated. Treatments recommended by the American Union of Grad Students are winter ales, comfy hand-rests, and Costa Rica.